It seems that the last ten years have been such a testing season of my life. Allowing God to expose and heal so much inside me, that really I did not know was there. I have to thank God that he does this so slowly...not showing it all and shoving it in my face..but slowly. Here..see this..lets work on this..so loving..so tender. I am not saying it is not painful at times. Oh..it is. I have to say..it is well worth it.
So..I want to share about me. I will break it down...as it will take time and I really want the Holy Spirit to guide me.
My parents married very early. 18 and 16 years old. Too early. They married because my mother was pregnant. Not long after their marriage my mother had my brother. He died only a week or so after he was born. My mother was heartbroken. Immediately..she focused on having another. Me. I was born in '73. Only a few months later..my mother found she was pregnant again. This time with my sister. My Mom, from what I heard, had a very hard childhood herself and was not ready for the responsibility of motherhood and marriage. She was very upset to be with child again so soon. Shortly, after giving birth to my sister she left. I don't know where and I really don't know why. My Dad, now had two little girls to care for. I was 1 1/2 and my sister a newborn. After that..I spent many days with my Dad's mother..my grandmother, while he worked.
I have to say something about my Grandmother. She was the most amazing woman. I believe that it was her prayers that kept me safe as life got very rough on me later on.
When I was only 3..my Mother's mom...came and asked to see us. My Grandmother was against it..but was persuaded otherwise. My sis and I went on a day trip with her...and never returned. My father had no idea where we were. It was not till two years later that a miracle happened and we were found. My mother had put my sister up for adoption and the papers to approve the adoption were sent to my Dad's Mom. Immediately..my Dad and Grandmother went to the authorities and she was ordered to return to the state with me and my sis. We returned and a huge, ugly legal battle ensued.
I do want to note that during the time I was gone..I do not remember much. The things I do remember are not good. Yet..my Grandmother taught me about Jesus before I was taken. During those hard times as a little child..I remember feeling like a bubble of protection was wrapped around me keeping me safe and I knew it was Jesus........