We returned to the state I was taken. The events that took place during that time were difficult. It took many, many years for me to be able to share them without sobbing. The feelings still overwhelm me. It was so confusing. I could not understand all that was going on. At one point we were leaving the courthouse and someone gave me a bag full of gifts - crayons, coloring books, treats - and said they were from my Dad. I honestly did not remember him. I remember searching around the parking lot trying to get a glimpse of this Father.
From what I was told...the battle that ensued in the other room was ugly. Finally..after deliberation's, my mother was declared an unfit mother by the state and all her rights were stripped with a order that she was to stay away from me till 18. While this was going on I was sitting in the back coloring. Suddenly, a group of people came running into the room with tears all in their eyes, laughing, rejoicing, and my father grabbed me and hugged me. I did not know what was going on and began crying. I cried for a very long time.
By this time my Father had remarried and they had a little baby already. For some reason, the only thing that brought me comfort was that baby...K. My new mother told me that at one point she told me she was my mother. I innocently looked up and said..."I have three mothers now?" Right then she knew I had been through a lot already.
Later..we picked up my sister. She had gone through far worse than I. We will never really know what happened but abuse was evident. I do know we both suffered abuse and neglect for those two years...but for me...it seems I did not go through half what my sister ended up going through.
I so honor my mother. She is my mother. Few people when they are around us ever would guess that she is not my biological Mom. This woman, that already had one baby, then suddenly had three to care for...bravely took on her new charges who had been through so much. She is not perfect...but she took on the responsibility and loved me and through her..I learned more about Jesus.
My love for Jesus was so intense at five. His presence was strong at that time. I thought about Him a lot. I remember so vividly needing Him and wanting Him. I told my Mom this and at five, with the help of my new mother, I kneeled down and prayed and Jesus has never left me since......